Tomorrow's mighty oak is just today's nut that holds its ground.

2009-10-15T11:26:00.000-07:00

Oh, Debbie I added songs for you :)

2009-10-15T09:40:00.000-07:00

I have been sooo tired lately and my brain is just in a fog. I have had no interest in blogging but my sister Debbie requested that I update my blog so everyone knows what is going on so here is my mess from my foggy brain Deb. Warning: Loy did not edit this so it's a mess. I used spellcheck though! Thank you Lord for spell check!

I feel like I've been holding my breath for 14 weeks! I am 14 weeks 5 days today and I don't really feel pregnant. I'm having symptoms and everything but I can still wear my same pants and they are comfortable. I don't feel like I'm growing. I've only gained 3 pounds in 14 weeks too. At around 7 weeks I thought I was having another miscarriage. I had spotting and some cramping. I thought that I was going to loose the baby but I had an ultrasound and the baby was the right size and had a heartbeat. They did find that I had a cyst on my ovary and a fibroid somewhere in my uterus. I had my 8 week appointment and my midwife did an ultrasound and the baby again was the right size and had a heartbeat. Then the longest 4 weeks I have ever had to wait slowly went by. I was very nervous at my 12 week appointment. That whole 4 weeks I had symptoms but did not feel anything happening in my belly. I don't mean movement from the baby or anything like that, I just don't feel anything. I would think by now I would feel a blob or a pressure or something. Well at my 12 week app. the moment my midwife put the Doppler on my belly a loud strong heartbeat came through. It was wonderful to hear. I waited 4 long weeks to see if this baby was still ok and all I got to hear was about 45 seconds of a heartbeat. Torture I tell you, torture! My midwife has to retire which is sad. He delivered David or Joey I can't remember which one but I had him as a midwife thorough both David and Joey. The person he recommended me to see was my sister Debbie's midwife and is currently my daughter in law Laura's midwife. I see her in 2 long weeks! Maybe I just cant believe I'm pregnant or maybe since it's been 14 years since I've been pregnant I just don't remember what it is like. I wasn't showing until 6 months with my first pregnancy but I'm older and fatter now. You would think I'd be showing at 8 weeks! Or maybe when you have a miscarriage it really affects you. It's hard to believe everything is ok. Over the last week there have been a few times that I thought I felt the baby move but it still doesn't make me feel pregnant! All my books say it's way too early to feel the baby move so I'm not sure, but it feels like what I remember from before. Debbie said she felt her baby early. I will know more in two weeks. I decided at my 12 week appointment to assume everything is ok unless i have signs of a miscarriage rather than everything in not ok because I don't feel pregnant. Most of the time I'm doing ok. I'll have a day here and there where I just worry and feel like something is not right. On those days I just have to pray and trust God that no matter what happens He is in control. I should be having an ultrasound in a few weeks too. Hopefully they will be able to tell if it is a girl or a boy.

2009-07-31T22:05:00.000-07:00

Guess What.............................

A PICTURE IS WORTH 1000 WORDS

2009-06-20T23:07:00.000-07:00

Isaac is one!

Annika's belly is growing

My sister is a movie star

Something was really funny even Angel was laughing!

Someone suggested Valarie should get a tattoo to cover her scar so

she did a homemade tattoo.

Chase and Annika

Cute

Loy reading to us in the morning

Annika is really starting to show!

The garden is growing

I actually planned that! I planted the fuchsia colored flowers in with the purple ones last year, I think it turned out nice. There are hydrangeas behind them too but you can't see them yet. It will take a couple of years for them to get big enough to see.

My gray hair is really filling in!

Happy Birthday Isaac! Love Mya Mya

Pictures!

2009-06-04T10:05:00.000-07:00

I have pictures!

Ben

Cuteness!

Joey at a TKD competition. He won 1st place in everything he did!

This is how many boards he broke!

Focus.

Form

I never realized my pond was a heart.

Here is some of the work we have done. David and Joey weeded the path, I am half way done weeding the little flower bed right in the middle of the picture. This shows much weeds there are! The garden area was worse!

The Garden after all the hard work. I pulled out all the mint and herbs I planted in front of the gate last year because they were taking over. I planted Basil and cilantro on the right and I am going to plant some sunflowers with Ben on the left behind the chives and the other thing growing that is a mystery. I'm waiting till it blooms to find out what it is. I know I planted it last year but I can't remember what it is!

The kids enjoying dinner outside

Our five baby kittens are ready for new homes. They are so cute!

I have laughing kittens!

My friend Juli feeding the kitten she is going to take. Now I just need to find homes for the rest of them!

Kittens, weeding, planting, and praying.

2009-06-02T10:43:00.000-07:00

I have been very busy. We planted a garden (Laura helped). I'm weeding and cleaning the yard, and our five little kittens are ready for new homes! These pictures are out of order and old but it's all I have right now.

Bunny's five kittens

Bunny in labor. Ghost watching Bunny and wondering what is going on!

I thought this was a cute picture of Laura and the boys.

Ghost found a comfy spot.

My ears you have pierced, I desire to do your will, I am poor and needy

2009-05-01T11:38:00.000-07:00

Psalm 40

You God are my help and my Deliverer!

I waited
He heard me
He lifted me up
I stand on a rock
I have a song in my heart
A praise to my God
I pray many will see and fear and put their trust in the Lord Jesus
Blessed is the man who makes the Lord his trust
Do not withhold Your mercy from me, O Lord
May Your love and Your truth always protect me

This is what I am singing today:

Many are they increased that troubled me
Many are they that rise up against me
Many there be which say of my soul
There is no help for him in God

But Thou, oh Lord are a shield for me
My glory and the lifter of my head
Thou, oh Lord are a shield for me
My glory and the lifter of my head

I cried unto the Lord with my voice
And He heard me out of His holy hill
I laid me down and slept and awaked
For the Lord sustained, for He sustained me

Thou, oh Lord are a shield for me
My glory and the lifter of my head
Thou, oh Lord are shield for me
My glory and the lifter of my head

For Thou oh Lord are a shield for me
My glory and the lifter of my head
Of my head
My head

Praise be to the Lord God, the God of Israel, who alone does marvelous deeds.

2009-04-29T15:29:00.000-07:00

These are a few of the Psalms that have comforted me the last few days. I just wrote a few verses of each one (read the whole psalm if you have time).

Psalm 72:18,19
Praise be to the Lord God, the God of Israel, who alone does marvelous deeds. Praise be to His glorious name forever, may the whole earth be filled with His glory. Amen and Amen.

Psalm 107
Give thanks to the Lord, for He is good, His love endures forever.

Psalm 34:1-3
I will extol the Lord at all times; His praise will always be on my lips. My soul will boast in the Lord; let the afflicted hear and rejoice. Glorify the Lord with me; let us exalt His name together.

Psalm 42
As the deer pants for streams of water so my soul pants for you, O God. My soul thirsts for God, for the living God. When can I go and meet with God? My tears have been my food day and night, while men say to me all day long, "Where is your God?" These things I remember as I pour out my soul: how I used to go with the multitude, leading the procession to the house of God, with shouts of joy and thanksgiving among the festive throng. Why are you downcast, O my soul? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise Him, my Savior and my God.

And also,
1Peter 1:3-9
Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In His great mercy He has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, and into an inheritance that can never perish, spoil or fade, kept in heaven for you,who through faith are shielded by God's power until the coming of the salvation that is ready to be revealed in the last time. In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that your faith- of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire- may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed. Though you may not see Him, you love Him, and even though you do not see Him now, you believe in Him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy, for you are receiving the goal of your faith, the salvation of your souls.

I guess it's time to take the baby tickers down. I started bleeding on Saturday. Sunday was really bad. Until today I didn't really have cramps through the whole thing. Just some mild ones but the blood loss was huge on Sunday. For some reason, today (Wednesday) I am having some strong, painful cramps. Otherwise it has been like a normal period. (except for Sunday) I saw alot of stuff come out but I never saw the baby,.... and I looked. I did not want to flush it down the toilet. On one hand I am sad that I didn't find the baby and on the other hand I am relieved that I didn't have to see it. No matter how at peace I am with the fact that this is what God has chosen it is still awful to have to go through. But God gives hope and He is the lifter of my head!

blood test and ultrasound picture

2009-04-23T16:38:00.000-07:00

This is a picture of the first ultrasound. They didn't give me a picture of the second one - probably because there was no heart beat.

I had an appointment on Tuesday the 21st. I knew what would happen before I went to it. I called to see if the doctor would just cancel it. He still wanted me to go in so I did. He pretty much told me of more ways to terminate the pregnancy. I guess there is a hormone or a pill called Misoprostol that makes your body produce a hormone. You put it next to your cervix and it will cause contractions and you will eventually pass the "tissue". Even now, it's not tissue to me, he or she is a baby. It is or was MY baby. It is loved and will have a name! Anyway, he proceeded to tell me how some women, when they find out the baby has died they just want it out and to be done with it. This made me sad. I told him I'm not in a hurry. I want to let things happen naturally. I still have hope because with God anything is possible until the baby comes out in a miscarriage. Yesterday was a very hard day for me. I felt to have this hope I was just being in denial. I was feeling sorry for myself and grieving that I have to give up all that I want and trust God. I got the results of the blood test yesterday. My HCG hormone is down to 15,591 very bad. Loy and I watched a movie last night called "Faith like Potatoes". Go get it and watch it! This man had faith and his faith was severely tested. I was still struggling last night feeling helpless and sad and wondering why and how can this miscarriage glorify God? It seems to me some people will have an attitude of, "well what do you expect doing this at 40 years old?" I am reminded that the goal is not to get a baby although that is desired. The goal is and always was to obey God and trust him. I believe Him and I trust Him. I just feel blind to what God is doing. I don't understand it. This is probably one of the hardest things I have ever had to go through. The waiting and not knowing has been excruciating - not to mention all the other trials we are going through with Daniel and his family living with us, my daughter Annika pregnant and just married last Monday, and my other 3 teenagers. God was so good to me yesterday and knew exactly what I needed. Shellee called me (she was very sick) and needed help watching Renee while she slept and had the cha cha's (as she calls it) all day long. When she called I had just woken up and felt a dark cloud of sadness over me. I even pulled the covers over my head and started to cry. I cry a lot but when I pull the covers over my head that's when it's really bad. She called and I had to help her - she could barely talk the poor thing! I hung up the phone and cried out to God that He picked the wrong person to go help her. I was feeling like I was about to snap! Loy encouraged me and prayed for me. I really didn't want to do it because I was so wrapped up in my own feelings but I knew God wanted me to help her. It felt so much better to cry with the covers over my head than to get up and go serve my sick sister. I felt like I was going to die or have a complete breakdown. I'm embarassed to confess how I really felt. I'm so selfish and self focused. God knew best though. I had a wonderful time with my sweet niece Renee and didn't feel sorry for myself or mope around all day. When you serve others you can't focus on yourself. I hope this doesn't make you feel bad, Shellee, because I love you and want to help you it just happened at the moment I was at my worst with thinking I will most likely have a miscarriage. I'm so glad you called me and I could help, it saved my day emotionally. If God had not provided me that opportunity, I may have gone into despair. Sorry you had to be sick though. This morning I woke up and the first thing I did was pray, "God why do you delay? If I am going to have a miscarriage, if you are going to take this baby what are you waiting for?" I prayed that if He chooses I know He can make this baby live but I prayed that His will is done whatever He wants but please let it happen soon if He takes the baby. The waiting is so hard.

I got up and went to the bathroom and I had some spotting. It is now 5:30pm and I only had three signs of spotting and some very mild cramps all day so it seems something must be starting. I feel SO much better today than I did yesterday though. I'm not sad at all. I feel like this has been a grieving process. I've been grieving for weeks and God has been giving comfort for weeks. Loy said we will name the baby Corban. The baby is an offering to God freely given and in thankfulness. The Lord gives and the Lord takes away, blessed be the name of the Lord! And, goodbye is not forever!

Ultrasound

2009-04-20T11:04:00.000-07:00

I had the ultrasound on Friday. The baby measures about 6 weeks 3 or 4 days. They could not find a heart beat though. They are telling me I will miscarry. I think they are going to push for me to have a D&C because they have already asked me several times about it. I do not want one! I want to just wait on the Lord and if there are complications if I miscarry then I may have to have one. I have no signs yet. Someone in church told me it took her body three months to realize something was wrong before she miscarried. I don't know what will happen. With God anything is possible. I have a friend named Rory at church who knew Annika was pregnant and the day I told her I was pregnant she freaked out and got so excited and told me that she was writing in her journal and she felt we (Loy and Me) were going to be loving on a baby and it would be corban. Corban is the Hebrew word for "an offering set aside for God" Rory said all she could think of was that it must be Annika's baby because Loy and Diane don't have a baby. She jumped up and down saying over and over "IT'S YOUR BABY, IT'S YOUR BABY!!!!" It was a joyful moment and this was before we knew anything was wrong with the baby. Knowing I could have a tubal pregnancy I wondered even then if God would take this baby. This sounds funny but I also was reading a book for two weeks that not only the content of the book was encouraging that God's plans are good and I can trust Him He is sovereign. But the title of the book is "Goodbye Is Not Forever" I freely offer this baby to the Lord if He wants it. The baby is His anyway. I'm thankful for the faith and trust He has worked in me through this so far. I am very excited to see how this will glorify Him. You see no matter if He allows Loy and me to raise this baby or if He takes this Baby It's all good. Everything He allows is good even things that seem bad. As it says in Job THE HAND OF THE LORD HAS DONE THIS! He gives and takes away blessed be the name of the Lord!!

Waiting

2009-04-14T21:14:00.000-07:00

Well here is the update. I went in for my first appointment on April 9th. I was 8 weeks pregnant that week. They did an ultrasound and couldn't really see much. They said either I'm only around 6 weeks or it is an un-viable ovum. I had a blood test for the HCG pregnancy hormone. If I have a normal pregnancy the numbers should double every 48 hours. Thursday the 9th I was 36,761. And on Saturday the 11th I was 32,279. This is bad. The levels are going down. I am calling tomorrow, the 15th, for another ultrasound. I should have it on Thursday or Friday. The doctor called me today basically to tell me my blood levels were bad and it looks like I will have a miscarriage eventually. I have a choice to have a D&C or let it happen naturally. I am choosing to let it happen naturally. I have no spotting, no bleeding, and no cramping yet. Yesterday I thought I may have been a little crampy but it is hard to tell because when you are pregnant you also feel "gassy" so I'm not sure. I did notice my breasts were not as sore as they have been but they are still sore.

So we wait. We feel perfect peace about it all. God is good and He has a reason for good in all of this. We do feel grief and I feel just a little fear of the unknown about having a miscarriage. Mostly will it hurt a lot? I am so grateful to the Lord that I got to see the first ultrasound and have the blood tests so that if I do miscarry I will know it was coming and it won't be so terrifying to me. It helped me allot to talk to Debbie so I know some things to expect. Also, if my baby hasn't grown much past 6 weeks I may not have to see it when it comes out which would only intensify the grief I imagine I'll feel. We still hope. Maybe there is a chance on my next ultrasound the baby will have just been hiding or something. But whatever happens BLESSED BE JESUS NAME!

Welcome Jack

2009-03-21T17:21:00.000-07:00

Jack was born on March 16th, He weighed 8lbs, 7 oz, and He was 20 1/2 inches long.

Congratulations Rice family!

Thanks, Rae Ann for taking the nice pictures!

Amazing Grace! Tubal Reversal Pregnancy at 40 !!

2009-03-17T12:11:00.000-07:00

Wow. Wow, WOw WOW!!!!

I don't feel like it's real. Only two months after my tubal reversal (which I had for 14 years!!) and at 40, almost 41 years old I'm pregnant! I knew with God nothing was imposable but, I didn't know if it was His will for me. It is. Please give God thanks with me for this amazing blessing He has given us!

Praise God, from Whom all blessings flow;
Praise Him, all creatures here below;
Praise Him above, ye heavenly host;
Praise Father, Son, and Holy Ghost.

What ever happens in the next few weeks I am very thankful to God for this blessing. Please pray that I won't have a miscarriage and that it is a healthy baby.

The first test. I couldn't stop saying, There's a LINE!!!! There's a LINE!!!!

The second test. My pee was watered down because this one was only half an hour after the first test.

It's a light line but there's a LINE!!!!!

God has chosen to give us a blessing

2009-03-16T12:56:00.000-07:00

OK, So my last post I was posting the meanings of our names and people thought I was saying I was pregnant because Joey's name means God will increase. Well.... I guess it was kind of prophetic because I WAS!!

I'M PREGNANT!!!!!!!!!!!

Loy = Faithful, True

Diane = Divine

Daniel = God Is My Judge

Annika = Gracious, Merciful

Valarie = Strength

David = Beloved

Joseph = God Will Increase

God has given us Grace

Can you guess what this is about?

2009-03-03T17:05:00.000-08:00

Faithful, True
Divine
God Is My Judge
Gracious, Merciful
Strength
Beloved
God Will Increase

I am alive.

2009-03-01T19:44:00.000-08:00

I haven't been in the mood to blog for awhile. I guess I'm a fair weather blogger. Things have been grievous around here. I'm not depressed or anything, just sad because of the choices of my children. As I blogged about before, Annika is moved out. Valarie aka "THE TEENAGER" has only 5 months till she is 18 and then she will probably be moving out. Laura, my daughter-in-law, will be moving in within the next couple of weeks with my grandchildren. Daniel has to have a job before he can move in with them here. I won't share the reasons he has to have a job before we will let him live here, but I'll just say it needs to be that way. Pray for my son. Pray for my daughters, pray for my other sons! God needs to call them, the Holy Spirit needs to bring them to conviction of sin and repentance and a desire to follow Jesus.

On a lighter note, we celebrated my nephew Jack (soon to be born) and my sister Debbie (Jack's momma) with a baby shower! My sister Shellee pretty much planned the whole thing and all the "Martin girls" helped, as did Genevieve. My mom bought and made most of the food. We had Greek dips and crackers and baklava instead of a cake it was very good. I have lots of pictures to share. Here they are...

See, I live and I can face tomorrow because Jesus LIVES!!

Tierra and Debbie and Jack in the belly

I don't know why this turned sideways but these are lavender filled strawberries I made for Deb. They have pigs on them because Debbie loves pigs.

Baby shower decorations.

Lots of presents....

Shellee did ALL the games! Thank you Shellee you are such a blessing. You are a great party planner and entertainer!

Juli gave Debbie these underwear she got from the hospital. I guess they are really comfortable and hold the pad in nicely after having a baby. They are sooo UGLY though!

Lot's of cute clothes...

Tierra helping her Momma

Debbie said she needed LOTS of socks. She got them from Laura. Laura gave her three bags of 0-3 month clothes which Debbie also needed. Laura dresses her boys very nice too.

Jeremy's sister Jenny made Debbie all these crochet items they are very cute!

From Jenny.

From Jenny. She put Jack's name on the hat!!

From Jenny.

Reading the cards.

Natti with frosting on her face

Julia made these cupcakes for the shower, too. Natti loved them.

Little peas in a pod baby book.

A grizzly bear sweat shirt for the little mountain boy.

Tierra is a big help to Debbie.

Cute shoes.

More cuteness.

Do you feel like you are at the baby shower yet? There are still more great gifts!

Little lion.

Reading more cards.

My mom made Debbie tons of stuff. We all loved the burp cloths!

The blanket is soo soft too.

This is a pile of the receiving blankets on Debbie's lap that my mom made.

Looks like she liked this outfit!

Jack won't need anything when he is born!

My mom who worked hard making the gifts for Debbie and the food.

Genevieve holding Maggie, Heather, and Rae Ann.

From left to right, Jacky Debbie's mother in law, Jenny Debbie's sister in law, Amy Debbie's friend and her daughter Darla who is Tierra's good friend.

People talking and eating.

The swing Debbie wanted ... she got!

A very happy momma

This is another wonderful thing my mom made. It is a nursing cover. She made Julia one, too.

Now we are all just waiting to meet little "Jack Jack"!

Happy Valentines Day

2009-02-14T11:31:00.000-08:00

Oh, let us rejoice in the Lord, evermore,
When darts of the tempter are flying,
For Satan still dreads, as he oft did before,
Our singing much more than our crying.

2009-02-13T08:04:00.000-08:00

The secure and FALSE Christians, who are always more than the true believers, have no correct information concerning faith, for they think if they straightway fall into and continue in sin-yet they only believe-then there is no danger, for faith alone justifies without any good works. In that, they rest. They do nothing good, yea, only evil, and for all that, they wish to be Christians. But they are worse than the heathen. However, we heard above that faith begets new men and makes all things new in the heart, mind, and senses. These new men then as a good tree, bear good fruit, and lead a holy life. Where this is not the case, there is no true faith.

-Martin Luther

2009-02-10T09:02:00.000-08:00

Mere external religion is ever a cloak to cover iniquity. The Lord exposed all that in His strong denunciations in Matt. 23. The guilty combination in Judaism has largely developed in Christendom. The conscience of a believer may become so seared that a person can practice religion while yet living in sin

- W.E. Vine

Maggie

2009-02-07T09:02:00.000-08:00

My sister had her baby. It was a LOOOOONG labor - about 32 hours!! She did a great job. I'm proud of her! Maggie was born on February 1st. Her full name is Margaret Josephine Sager.

I thank God for her R.N. Julia!!

Julia blogging while in labor!! Check out Julia's blog at http://somethingsager.blogspot.com/

Adam making the calls.

Friend Heather doing business as Julia is in labor. I got the mini muffin tray and I still need to send her a check!

My sister Shellee and I have the same shoes!

Julia walking around to get labor going. Debbie showing off her perfectly round belly. Debbie is due in march!

Loy and me, tired...

Debbie had to buy these cute clothes for Tierra because Julia was in labor so long and she didn't bring extra clothes!

Tierra and Valarie, aka "THE TEENAGER", waiting for something to happen. Valarie was attacked by her Aunt with a powdered donut (that's what the white circle is on her sweatshirt). There is a matching circle on the other side. Everyone needs an Aunt Shellee!

My Mom looking rested while waiting for her newest grand baby.

Debbie is next!

We got to go out to eat since Julia was having such a long labor. Thank you, Loy. Shellee, Debbie, Tierra, Valarie, me, and my mom.

Finally, Maggie entered the world!

Her lips are so cute!

Adam, Julia, and Maggie.

We waited a long time for you! Happy Birthday, Maggie!

For the second time...

2009-01-29T14:40:00.000-08:00

Two times now I've had to watch my daughter pack her things and stood by as her boyfriend and strangers came and took her away from home. It's a sad day. The song "Orphan" by the Newsboys popped up on my blog when I opened it up and it made me cry. This is the part that got to me...

"the dying mother weaving bulrushes

along the Nile
float her basket over the sea

here on a barren shore

we'll be waiting for

a tailwind to carry her orphan's cry

don't you worry, child

I wrote a lullaby"

I let her go in faith knowing that God will care for her and my lullaby is my prayer for her. We have said all we know to say and Annika has been instructed in what is right and wrong, yet she recognizes herself that she wants her own way. Basically this is called rebellion. She talks about marrying Chase sometime in the future. I believe she feels that doing so will make everything "right". I'm glad she wants to make a commitment, but I'm more concerned about her eternal soul - not her happiness here. She is living for her own self gratification. She is living to satisfy her flesh. Marriage won't change that.

"Now the deeds of the flesh are evident, which are: immorality, impurity, sensuality, idolatry, sorcery, enmities, strife, jealousy, outbursts of anger, disputes, dissensions, factions, envying, drunkenness, carousing, and things like these, of which I forewarn you, just as I have forewarned you, that those who practice such things will not inherit the kingdom of God."

Loy asked her if she believed in God last night. She said she did but she just wants to do what she wants to do. This is evil in the sight of God. Why is it evil? Because it is rebellion against Him. He has told us in His Word there are things that we should not do. These are the very things Christ died on the cross to redeem us from! How can someone say they believe in God and they LOVE God and then live in a sexual relationship with someone they are not married to?

"Why do you call Me, 'Lord, Lord' and do not do what I say? Everyone who comes to Me and hears My words and acts on them, I will show you whom he is like: he is like a man building a house, who dug deep and laid a foundation on the rock; and when a flood occurred, the torrent burst against that house and could not shake it, because it had been well built. But the one who has heard and has not acted accordingly, is like a man who built a house on the ground without any foundation; and the torrent burst against it and immediately it collapsed, and the ruin of that house was great." Luke 6:46-49

And, "If anyone loves Me, he will keep My word; and My Father will love him, and We will come to him and make Our abode with him. He who does not love Me does not keep My words; and the word which you hear is not Mine, but the Father's who sent Me." John 14:23-24

And, "If you love Me, you will keep My commandments." John 14 :15

This morning she came upstairs when Loy was reading devotions to me. She even sat down and listened. Loy read Proverbs 29. The first sentence in Proverbs 29 was this...

"A man who hardens his neck after much reproof will suddenly be broken beyond remedy."

She heard this. I wonder what it will take (and who will have to suffer) for her to repent and follow the Lord. I'm not saying these things to be judgmental. I also was sexually immoral with Loy when I was a teenager. I'm just saying them because it is the truth and I would have no greater joy than to see my kids walk in the truth. I fully expect people who do not claim to believe or love God to be sexually immoral. That is their nature and they do not know another way because they are slaves to their flesh. But, when you accept Jesus through faith and believe and say you "love" Him, you are a new person with a new nature and that nature desires to know what God desires of you and it desires to obey God's ways, trusting that all His ways are loving and for your good. Maybe my daughter believes but she does not love God. I guess selfishly (because I'm very imperfect) it bugs me when people say they love God but don't care or try to do what He says. Or maybe it's not selfish, maybe I'm jealous for God. It hurts me to see people walk around and say, "I believe", "I love", Blah, blah, blah.... Yet they do not attempt to obey or follow Him. Furthermore, they turn on the person who points out to them the fact that they are saying one thing but doing another. If you say you believe and love God and want to follow Him yet you do not have His spirit convicting you of sin (sexual immorality is one of many sins that comes from our flesh) than something is terribly wrong. You should examine yourself to see whether you are really in the faith...

Consider this carefully, 1 Corinthians 13:5, "Examine yourselves to see whether you are in the faith; test yourselves. Do you not realize that Jesus Christ is in you- unless, of course, you fail the test?"

Think about it. If you have Jesus Christ in you, would you go on in sexual immorality? Don't you think Jesus would convict your heart of sin and guide you to His righteousness and help you obey Him? As I mentioned earlier, sexual immorality is only one sin, but it is a popular one with the flesh we live in - probably because it is pleasurable. There is also lying and hating and jealousy and putting things before God (idolatry). There is not doing what God says in all things because you want to do what you want to do (outright rebellion). There is also NOT doing the things He wants you to do like forgiving someone when they have offended you, like humbling yourself and obeying Him when He calls you to repentance. Like sacrificing your desires to love and care for another. If you love Him, read His Word and put some action with the faith you claim you have. STOP doing the things He said His followers should have no part of and START doing the things He instructs us to do throughout the Bible. For those of you who say you love Him and believe but are living a sexually immoral life, consider these instructions from God...

1 Thessalonians 4:1-8:

"Finally brothers, we instructed you how to live in order to please God, as in fact you are living. Now we ask you and urge you in the Lord Jesus to do this more and more. For you know what instructions we gave you by the authority of the Lord Jesus. IT IS GOD'S WILL THAT YOU SHOULD BE SANCTIFIED: THAT YOU SHOULD AVOID SEXUAL IMMORALITY; that each of you should learn to control his own body in a way that is holy and honorable, not in passionate lust like the heathen, who do not know God; and in that matter no one should wrong his brother or take advantage of him. The Lord will punish men for all such sins, as we have already told you and warned you. For God did not call us to be impure, but to live a holy life. Therefore, he who rejects this instruction does not reject man but God who gives you His Holy Spirit. "

Do you really want to reject God?

Titus 2:11-14

"For the Grace of God that brings salvation has appeared to all men. It teaches us to say "No" to ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives in this present age, while we wait for the blessed hope - the glorious appearing of our great God and Savior, Jesus Christ, who gave Himself to redeem us from all wickedness and to purify for Himself a people that are His very own eager to do what is good."

Are you saved? Do you have this grace? Do you say "NO!" to ungodliness?

Dangerious Waterfalls and Lazer Tag

2009-01-24T09:55:00.000-08:00

I'm feeling very disturbed. If the outcome of the things I care about were up to me, I would be so full of anxiety right now that I wouldn't be able to breathe. I know that God is in control and I must simply obey Him, step by step, in spite of the fact that I feel like the task at hand is so complex and in need of skill (like brain surgery) and I feel like I'm just a preschooler who can't even read or write. This morning I heard about things with two different families that are headed into danger. I want to scream a warning, but would they listen? That's the whole thing... They have no reason to listen to me. I feel like they are on a raft floating toward a waterfall and I desire to warn them of the impending doom. The problem: it's not up to me to rescue them. Only God can show them there is danger ahead. I guess I need to just start with praying for them. This is hard because the danger ahead is devastating and people WILL be hurt. This is hard because I desire to DOOOO something. "Lord, I care about these families and I love them. Open their eyes and rescue them and spare them from the destruction ahead of them if they do not turn to you. Make them very aware of their own pride so that they can humbly follow you and fear you and walk in wisdom. In Jesus name stop them from approaching the waterfall where there is death and destruction." It's hard to comprehend that God may want some to go over the waterfall for His good reasons. I know He has allowed me to fall over some and it has all been for good in my life and for His glory. He really is AWESOME! Psalm 42 is the psalm God directed me to over and over when I was falling over various waterfalls in my life. "Deep calls to deep at the sound of your waterfalls, All your breakers and Your waves have rolled over me. The Lord will command His lovingkindness in the daytime; And His song will be with me in the night, A prayer to the God of my life.......Hope in God, for I will yet praise Him, The help of my countenance and my God." For now I will just pray.

Last night we celebrated David's birthday with the whole family. We took the boys (David, Joey, Tyler, Jed, and Forest) to a laser tag place. I was worried they would think it was stupid. I was so glad that when I picked them up all they did was talk and talk about how fun it was and that they wanted to go back the next day. I hope they both (David and Joey) had good birthdays this year. They have hard roads ahead of them and I'm happy to be able to give them good memories now. The following pictures are the best I could get of teenage boys. The one where they are all looking at the camera but not all of them are smiling - I had to demand that I get at least ONE picture of them all looking at the camera!

I got a smile! Yeah!!!

Birthdays are fun.

In the van on the way to laser tag.

Hiding from the camera.

This is the picture Loy tried to take of the boys. David wasn't even in the picture and, well, just look!

This is the picture I forced the boys to let me take of them. From left to right, Jed (not smiling), Forest, Tyler, Joey (not smiling) and David (not smiling).

And last but not least the Birthday song, er, dirge.

2009-01-21T21:16:00.000-08:00

My incision is all healed, finally! I have been very busy driving kids everywhere and trying to get the house back to normal. The tile is half way done. It looks good. I'm going to read my book "Ida" and go to bed. Goodnight.

We had another "summer" dinner tonight. I even got corn on the cob.

Here is a sneak peek of the tile. What do you think of the tile on the tub with the tile on the floor? Does it clash?

Did I ever tell you my kitty can fly?

This is my new "grandma" purse. I got it from Salvation Army, of course! It smells like cigarette smoke, though. I've been trying to get the smell out. I sprayed it with fabreeze, sprayed it with vanilla body spray, washed the outside of it with a Clorox wipe, and put a bar of dove soap in it. My friend Jennifer gave me a little sachet of lavender to put in it, too, so now it has a bar of soap and a lavender sachet in it. I hope the smell will fade away eventually because it is so cute. I love the rhinestones on it. And it's pink - my favorite color!

2009-01-19T21:09:00.000-08:00

It's been windy! These are pictures of my neighborhood.

Fences are blown over everywhere....

another fence down....

another fence down...

and another one...

Did I say it's been windy??

Really windy!

Trees are falling over everywhere bringing up the roots with them too.

Same tree different angle.

These huge trees line the street to our house. I'm glad we weren't driving by at the time this one fell.

This one took the sidewalk up with it.

This is so sad. This is a beautiful, old Portland style house that everyone admires across from the college. A tree took out the entire front porch. It also looks like the house has some damage.

More trees down.

This tree held it's ground but the wind won the battle.

This is my neighbor's house. Look at the top right side of his roof. We have shingles all over our yard from this house and others.

This is an old apple tree.

Happy Birthday Joey!

2009-01-16T23:48:00.000-08:00

My baby is 14

This was the best smile I could get out of him.

Myeah, Myeah (as Ben calls me) and Papa. This was the night of silly face pictures...

Julia's silly face... Laura too...

Annika's silly face...

Ben and Laura's silly face...

Shellee's silly face...

A all the kids loving on Isaac

This is a neat picture! Shellee caught my flash! It looks like she is holding a star.

Joey's silly face...

Adam's silly face.

Banana cream pie.

The traditional family birthday song... We all need singing lessons!