Well here is the update. I went in for my first appointment on April 9th. I was 8 weeks pregnant that week. They did an ultrasound and couldn't really see much. They said either I'm only around 6 weeks or it is an un-viable ovum. I had a blood test for the HCG pregnancy hormone. If I have a normal pregnancy the numbers should double every 48 hours. Thursday the 9th I was 36,761. And on Saturday the 11th I was 32,279. This is bad. The levels are going down. I am calling tomorrow, the 15th, for another ultrasound. I should have it on Thursday or Friday. The doctor called me today basically to tell me my blood levels were bad and it looks like I will have a miscarriage eventually. I have a choice to have a D&C or let it happen naturally. I am choosing to let it happen naturally. I have no spotting, no bleeding, and no cramping yet. Yesterday I thought I may have been a little crampy but it is hard to tell because when you are pregnant you also feel "gassy" so I'm not sure. I did notice my breasts were not as sore as they have been but they are still sore.
So we wait. We feel perfect peace about it all. God is good and He has a reason for good in all of this. We do feel grief and I feel just a little fear of the unknown about having a miscarriage. Mostly will it hurt a lot? I am so grateful to the Lord that I got to see the first ultrasound and have the blood tests so that if I do miscarry I will know it was coming and it won't be so terrifying to me. It helped me allot to talk to Debbie so I know some things to expect. Also, if my baby hasn't grown much past 6 weeks I may not have to see it when it comes out which would only intensify the grief I imagine I'll feel. We still hope. Maybe there is a chance on my next ultrasound the baby will have just been hiding or something. But whatever happens BLESSED BE JESUS NAME!
2 comments:
It's also nice to KNOW that you are (or possibly were) pregnant. When I took that test last November and it said positive, then I started my period.....then I took a few more tests that said negative....what the heck? You can have a false negative, but a false positive? You must have the pregnancy hormone to have a positive result.....so was I pregnant? When I talked to my doctor she wasn't sure what to think of it. It was just wierd, I didn't really know what to think, did I miscarry? Was it a false positive test? I guess I'll find out if I have a baby waiting for me in heaven!
we lost a baby between stella and ivy. i was 12 weeks or so. i went home and lost the baby instead of the D & C. i was glad we chose to do that- being home was comfortable and i was able to grieve without the drama that comes with being in the hospital.
it was painful. it felt like the worst cramps i had ever had, but nothing like labor. if i remember correctly, there was some light bleeding before the cramping. you'll know. just be prepared to lay low and rest at home. i was pretty tired and the hormonal roller coaster followed within a few days of losing the baby.
be sure to ask for help if you need it.
something that really helped me heal was to name the baby. tom doesn't even know i did this. i just needed a name so that when i meet our's in heaven, i'll know what to call him/her.
i'm so sorry you're going through this. we'll be praying for you guys. xoxo
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