Today is 4 weeks since my surgery. I'm now free to resume certain activities if you know what I mean! The two spots are still there. They always look OK in the morning but once I start moving they start to do their gross thing and are sore. I don't think it is infected though. I'm going to try another day without ibuprofen if I can. I'm also going to rest today which means this will probably be a longer blog post because I have the time to sit around and blog.
I really wore myself out the last two days. Loy has been so helpful. I'm even starting to feel useless and threatened kind of. If he can do all this, what am I useful for? What's my value if he doesn't really need me because he is capable of doing everything on his own! LOL! I'll post a picture of his list, and it's just for the morning! He is getting up at 6:30 Am to wake up David for school and start on the morning list (he's been driving David to school, too, because he wants to have more time to interact with David before he leaves the house for school). He told me for now he wants me to stay in bed until about 8:00 am because he thinks I need the sleep. He's right. I've been feeling awkward when I hear him making coffee and talking to David in the morning (when I'm supposed to be sleeping) because I think about the woman in Proverbs 31 who rises early in the morning to take care of her household and I feel like he shouldn't be doing this, I should be doing it! I've been having bizarre dreams during that hour and a half of extra sleep, too. Monday I dreamt that I cut off my feet but I saved them just in case I wanted to put them back on! Isn't that awful?! Today I dreamt all sorts of stressful things. Like Benjamin ran away from me and he was too fast for me to catch and he almost ran into traffic but turned really quick only to fall face forward into an aloe vera plant that was like a cactus and got all the barbs stuck all over his chest and arms and I was so worried about him and thought the barbs were poisonous and Loy was just sleeping and not worried like me! Also, I dreamt that two plump ladies were wearing pink, fluffy taekwondo outfits and wrestling and fell into a pool filled with old, green, murky water. They were drowning and nobody would help them. Finally one guy jumped in, but they were so heavy that he couldn't bring them up. I was waiting for him to get them up so I could do CPR. I woke up at that point and tried to finish the dream in my imagination (does anyone else ever do that?). I imagined the guy pulling one lady out and I started CPR, but I don't know how to do it so I thought two puffs of air were good and seven heart compressions were good. As I was giving the first lady CPR, the guy brought up the second lady and I had to help him get her out of the water and I told him to do CPR on her. He said, "I don't know how!" I yelled at him, "Neither do I!! Just copy me!" So there we were giving CPR and I guess I felt they would make it because I stopped imagining the end and got up. WEIRD, huh? I told Loy about it and he told me CPR is 2 puffs of air and 15 heart compressions. I hope I don't ever need to know that but it's good to know just in case! I wonder why I'm having all these stressful, anxious dreams. I usually don't dream very much at all.
Loy read a really good devotion from "Streams in the Desert" to me today. Here it is I hope it encourages you as it did me.
A story is told of a King who went to his garden one morning, only to find everything withered and dying. He asked the oak tree that stood near the gate what the trouble was. The oak said it was tired of life and determined to die because it was not tall and beautiful like the pine tree. The pine was troubled because it could not bear grapes like the grapevine. The grapevine was determined to throw it's life away because it could not stand erect and produce fruit as large as peaches. The geranium was fretting because it was not tall and fragrant like the lilac. And so it went throughout the garden. Yet coming to a violet, the King found it's face as bright and happy as ever and said, "Well, violet, I'm glad to find one brave little flower in the midst of all this discouragement. You don't seem to be the least disheartened." The violet responded, "No, I'm not. I know I'm small, yet I thought if you wanted an oak or a pine or a peach tree or even a lilac, you would have planted one. Since I knew you wanted a violet, I'm determined to be the best little violet I can be."
Others may do greater work,
but you have your part to do;
And no one in all Gods family
Can do it as well as you.
I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. - Philippians 4:11
Personally, I'm still learning this!
I am so thankful that God gave us the Bible (His Word) to guide us and instruct us on HOW to do the work He has planned for us. Without it we would be in the dark. Without it we would have no hope. Without it there would be no life or growth just a stagnant, murky, old pool like in my dream. Jesus is the living Word and He is my Teacher and Counselor and Rescuer and Savior.
2 Timothy 3:16-17 All scripture is inspired by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, for training in righteousness; that the man of God may be adequate, equipped for every good work.
I am also thankful that the Lord Jesus sent the Holy Spirit to help me live this life. I am not left alone here. I have the Creator of the Universe's written Word and also His Spirit dwelling within me. The Holy Spirit reminds me of the things I have read in the Bible and comforts me when I am sad, encourages me when I feel I can't go on, and teaches me when I don't understand something. And, best of all, His Spirit softens my hard, rebellious heart and convicts me of my sin. Oh, if it were not for Him keeping me, I would so quickly wander away.
