For the second time...

Two times now I've had to watch my daughter pack her things and stood by as her boyfriend and strangers came and took her away from home. It's a sad day. The song "Orphan" by the Newsboys popped up on my blog when I opened it up and it made me cry. This is the part that got to me...

"the dying mother weaving bulrushes

along the Nile
float her basket over the sea

here on a barren shore

we'll be waiting for

a tailwind to carry her orphan's cry

don't you worry, child

I wrote a lullaby"

I let her go in faith knowing that God will care for her and my lullaby is my prayer for her. We have said all we know to say and Annika has been instructed in what is right and wrong, yet she recognizes herself that she wants her own way. Basically this is called rebellion. She talks about marrying Chase sometime in the future. I believe she feels that doing so will make everything "right". I'm glad she wants to make a commitment, but I'm more concerned about her eternal soul - not her happiness here. She is living for her own self gratification. She is living to satisfy her flesh. Marriage won't change that.

"Now the deeds of the flesh are evident, which are: immorality, impurity, sensuality, idolatry, sorcery, enmities, strife, jealousy, outbursts of anger, disputes, dissensions, factions, envying, drunkenness, carousing, and things like these, of which I forewarn you, just as I have forewarned you, that those who practice such things will not inherit the kingdom of God."

Loy asked her if she believed in God last night. She said she did but she just wants to do what she wants to do. This is evil in the sight of God. Why is it evil? Because it is rebellion against Him. He has told us in His Word there are things that we should not do. These are the very things Christ died on the cross to redeem us from! How can someone say they believe in God and they LOVE God and then live in a sexual relationship with someone they are not married to?

"Why do you call Me, 'Lord, Lord' and do not do what I say? Everyone who comes to Me and hears My words and acts on them, I will show you whom he is like: he is like a man building a house, who dug deep and laid a foundation on the rock; and when a flood occurred, the torrent burst against that house and could not shake it, because it had been well built. But the one who has heard and has not acted accordingly, is like a man who built a house on the ground without any foundation; and the torrent burst against it and immediately it collapsed, and the ruin of that house was great." Luke 6:46-49

And, "If anyone loves Me, he will keep My word; and My Father will love him, and We will come to him and make Our abode with him. He who does not love Me does not keep My words; and the word which you hear is not Mine, but the Father's who sent Me." John 14:23-24

And, "If you love Me, you will keep My commandments." John 14 :15

This morning she came upstairs when Loy was reading devotions to me. She even sat down and listened. Loy read Proverbs 29. The first sentence in Proverbs 29 was this...

"A man who hardens his neck after much reproof will suddenly be broken beyond remedy."

She heard this. I wonder what it will take (and who will have to suffer) for her to repent and follow the Lord. I'm not saying these things to be judgmental. I also was sexually immoral with Loy when I was a teenager. I'm just saying them because it is the truth and I would have no greater joy than to see my kids walk in the truth. I fully expect people who do not claim to believe or love God to be sexually immoral. That is their nature and they do not know another way because they are slaves to their flesh. But, when you accept Jesus through faith and believe and say you "love" Him, you are a new person with a new nature and that nature desires to know what God desires of you and it desires to obey God's ways, trusting that all His ways are loving and for your good. Maybe my daughter believes but she does not love God. I guess selfishly (because I'm very imperfect) it bugs me when people say they love God but don't care or try to do what He says. Or maybe it's not selfish, maybe I'm jealous for God. It hurts me to see people walk around and say, "I believe", "I love", Blah, blah, blah.... Yet they do not attempt to obey or follow Him. Furthermore, they turn on the person who points out to them the fact that they are saying one thing but doing another. If you say you believe and love God and want to follow Him yet you do not have His spirit convicting you of sin (sexual immorality is one of many sins that comes from our flesh) than something is terribly wrong. You should examine yourself to see whether you are really in the faith...

Consider this carefully, 1 Corinthians 13:5, "Examine yourselves to see whether you are in the faith; test yourselves. Do you not realize that Jesus Christ is in you- unless, of course, you fail the test?"

Think about it. If you have Jesus Christ in you, would you go on in sexual immorality? Don't you think Jesus would convict your heart of sin and guide you to His righteousness and help you obey Him? As I mentioned earlier, sexual immorality is only one sin, but it is a popular one with the flesh we live in - probably because it is pleasurable. There is also lying and hating and jealousy and putting things before God (idolatry). There is not doing what God says in all things because you want to do what you want to do (outright rebellion). There is also NOT doing the things He wants you to do like forgiving someone when they have offended you, like humbling yourself and obeying Him when He calls you to repentance. Like sacrificing your desires to love and care for another. If you love Him, read His Word and put some action with the faith you claim you have. STOP doing the things He said His followers should have no part of and START doing the things He instructs us to do throughout the Bible. For those of you who say you love Him and believe but are living a sexually immoral life, consider these instructions from God...

1 Thessalonians 4:1-8:

"Finally brothers, we instructed you how to live in order to please God, as in fact you are living. Now we ask you and urge you in the Lord Jesus to do this more and more. For you know what instructions we gave you by the authority of the Lord Jesus. IT IS GOD'S WILL THAT YOU SHOULD BE SANCTIFIED: THAT YOU SHOULD AVOID SEXUAL IMMORALITY; that each of you should learn to control his own body in a way that is holy and honorable, not in passionate lust like the heathen, who do not know God; and in that matter no one should wrong his brother or take advantage of him. The Lord will punish men for all such sins, as we have already told you and warned you. For God did not call us to be impure, but to live a holy life. Therefore, he who rejects this instruction does not reject man but God who gives you His Holy Spirit. "

Do you really want to reject God?

Titus 2:11-14

"For the Grace of God that brings salvation has appeared to all men. It teaches us to say "No" to ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives in this present age, while we wait for the blessed hope - the glorious appearing of our great God and Savior, Jesus Christ, who gave Himself to redeem us from all wickedness and to purify for Himself a people that are His very own eager to do what is good."

Are you saved? Do you have this grace? Do you say "NO!" to ungodliness?

Dangerious Waterfalls and Lazer Tag

I'm feeling very disturbed. If the outcome of the things I care about were up to me, I would be so full of anxiety right now that I wouldn't be able to breathe. I know that God is in control and I must simply obey Him, step by step, in spite of the fact that I feel like the task at hand is so complex and in need of skill (like brain surgery) and I feel like I'm just a preschooler who can't even read or write. This morning I heard about things with two different families that are headed into danger. I want to scream a warning, but would they listen? That's the whole thing... They have no reason to listen to me. I feel like they are on a raft floating toward a waterfall and I desire to warn them of the impending doom. The problem: it's not up to me to rescue them. Only God can show them there is danger ahead. I guess I need to just start with praying for them. This is hard because the danger ahead is devastating and people WILL be hurt. This is hard because I desire to DOOOO something. "Lord, I care about these families and I love them. Open their eyes and rescue them and spare them from the destruction ahead of them if they do not turn to you. Make them very aware of their own pride so that they can humbly follow you and fear you and walk in wisdom. In Jesus name stop them from approaching the waterfall where there is death and destruction." It's hard to comprehend that God may want some to go over the waterfall for His good reasons. I know He has allowed me to fall over some and it has all been for good in my life and for His glory. He really is AWESOME! Psalm 42 is the psalm God directed me to over and over when I was falling over various waterfalls in my life. "Deep calls to deep at the sound of your waterfalls, All your breakers and Your waves have rolled over me. The Lord will command His lovingkindness in the daytime; And His song will be with me in the night, A prayer to the God of my life.......Hope in God, for I will yet praise Him, The help of my countenance and my God." For now I will just pray.

Last night we celebrated David's birthday with the whole family. We took the boys (David, Joey, Tyler, Jed, and Forest) to a laser tag place. I was worried they would think it was stupid. I was so glad that when I picked them up all they did was talk and talk about how fun it was and that they wanted to go back the next day. I hope they both (David and Joey) had good birthdays this year. They have hard roads ahead of them and I'm happy to be able to give them good memories now. The following pictures are the best I could get of teenage boys. The one where they are all looking at the camera but not all of them are smiling - I had to demand that I get at least ONE picture of them all looking at the camera!

I got a smile! Yeah!!!

Birthdays are fun.

In the van on the way to laser tag.

Hiding from the camera.

This is the picture Loy tried to take of the boys. David wasn't even in the picture and, well, just look!

This is the picture I forced the boys to let me take of them. From left to right, Jed (not smiling), Forest, Tyler, Joey (not smiling) and David (not smiling).

And last but not least the Birthday song, er, dirge.

My incision is all healed, finally! I have been very busy driving kids everywhere and trying to get the house back to normal. The tile is half way done. It looks good. I'm going to read my book "Ida" and go to bed. Goodnight.

We had another "summer" dinner tonight. I even got corn on the cob.

Here is a sneak peek of the tile. What do you think of the tile on the tub with the tile on the floor? Does it clash?


Did I ever tell you my kitty can fly?

This is my new "grandma" purse. I got it from Salvation Army, of course! It smells like cigarette smoke, though. I've been trying to get the smell out. I sprayed it with fabreeze, sprayed it with vanilla body spray, washed the outside of it with a Clorox wipe, and put a bar of dove soap in it. My friend Jennifer gave me a little sachet of lavender to put in it, too, so now it has a bar of soap and a lavender sachet in it. I hope the smell will fade away eventually because it is so cute. I love the rhinestones on it. And it's pink - my favorite color!

It's been windy! These are pictures of my neighborhood.

Fences are blown over everywhere....

another fence down....

another fence down...

and another one...

Did I say it's been windy??

Really windy!

Trees are falling over everywhere bringing up the roots with them too.

Same tree different angle.

These huge trees line the street to our house. I'm glad we weren't driving by at the time this one fell.

This one took the sidewalk up with it.

This is so sad. This is a beautiful, old Portland style house that everyone admires across from the college. A tree took out the entire front porch. It also looks like the house has some damage.

More trees down.

This tree held it's ground but the wind won the battle.

This is my neighbor's house. Look at the top right side of his roof. We have shingles all over our yard from this house and others.

This is an old apple tree.

Happy Birthday Joey!

My baby is 14

This was the best smile I could get out of him.

Myeah, Myeah (as Ben calls me) and Papa. This was the night of silly face pictures...

Julia's silly face... Laura too...

Annika's silly face...

Ben and Laura's silly face...

Shellee's silly face...

A all the kids loving on Isaac

This is a neat picture! Shellee caught my flash! It looks like she is holding a star.

Joey's silly face...

Adam's silly face.

Banana cream pie.

The traditional family birthday song... We all need singing lessons!

Blessings and Humility

I went to Salvation Army today to look for two things. I've been looking for a dresser for my nephew and a full size box spring for Annika. Guess what... They had them both! The box spring was only $30.00!!! The dresser was only $40.00!!! That was the blessing. Then... I went to pay for the items and I was asked "AGAIN" (this is the third time now) if I qualify for the SENIOR DISCOUNT!!!!!! GURRRRRH!!! That was the humbling thing! What is it with me? Do I really look that old! I'm only 40! Yes, I have gray hair, but, come on! Do I look 60? I took a shower today but I didn't wash my hair or put on any makeup. I took a picture of myself so you could see what I looked like. DO I REALLY LOOK 60?!!!!

OK, I do have gray hair, and I do have a mustache, and I have a big Ol' zit on my chin, and I do have a bunch of wrinkles. Sheesh, come on now, 60 year old ladies don't get ZITS!!! Do they?

NO infection, NO claw foot tub, and NO marble.

I went to my post-op appointment today. Everything seems all right. I don't have an infection. I had a suture that was irritating me. I had the surgery done at OHSU (which is a learning hospital) so the Doctor had a student with him today. He asked her to cut the suture! I was a little worried at first because she looked nervous. She had to pick the suture up with tweezers and PULL it out a little and snip it. Then she PULLED each side a little and snipped it off. OUCH!! She did a good job. It did hurt a little, though. I love my doctor. His name is Dr. David Lee and he is so nice and makes me feel so comfortable. I was so scared the first time we met him because I thought he would take one look at me and tell me, "Oh, no,no,no,... I can't help you, you're WAY too old and you're too fat, too. Sorry... NEXT!..." He was so nice though. He never made me feel old or fat! I made him work hard, too (my surgery was six hours long!). Dr. Lee told me my incision should heal closed and it should feel better soon without that suture irritating me. If anyone is wanting a tubal reversal, I recommend Dr. David Lee at OHSU. http://www.fertilityoregon.com/clinic/staff.htm

Now for the next news. I went out with Jennifer yesterday and looked at tile and the claw foot tub. I found marble tile at Home Depot. It was only about $5.00 per square foot. We also found a few other tiles to consider. We looked at the tub at Lowes and I sat in it. I couldn't put my legs straight out in a sitting position so I wasn't sure if this tub would be good for us even though it looked so wonderful with my eyes. I brought some tile home and after talking a lot with Jennifer about it, and talking to Loy about it, and then praying about it, and then crying about it. Yes, I said crying! I know it's stupid. I was upset with myself because I felt like I couldn't make a decision. Jennifer told me practical things about tile and marble, and Loy told me I need to make the decision because he really had no preference. I don't know what I want. Well, I do know what I want but, what I want may not be the best decision! The tub really is not comfortable. You would have to be a 10 year old to enjoy a bath in it. But the tub is SOOO cute. It's just the look I have always wanted. I couldn't choose another claw foot tub because they are all too expensive and they don't come with the plumbing which can cost as much as the tub does! The tub I was looking at cost less than the least expensive new or refurbished claw foot tub AND it came With the plumbing. BUT, there was obviously a reason for this. IT'S FOR MIDGETS!!! or "little people" if you are the politically correct type. I can't believe myself but, I actually tried to reason with myself about how it might be OK... I don't really take baths very often.... Yeah, I know ... stupid. I slept on it and the next morning I made the decision, I decided not to get the claw foot tub, Look how lovely it is though http://www.lowes.com/lowes/lkn?action=productDetail&productId=178918-31356-P7-CT1B&lpage=none.

We are going to replace the whirlpool tub that's broken with a soaking tub. I don't want another whirlpool tub to clean and possibly have it break on us or leak again. I think ours was broken when we moved in this house and I think the previous owners knew it, too. As for the tile, Jennifer told me marble is a soft natural stone so it can easily scratch and chip. It's also slippery when wet. I decided the marble was not a good choice for us since we have cats, kids, and a dog. All the other tile I picked out to test didn't look good but there was one that looked alright with the counter tile and tub tile so I picked that one. It has a marble look but the color has more cream than white and grey in it. I hope it will look good when it's done. Jennifer said designers often pick different shades, rather than trying to match everything, to give rooms contrast and interest. We'll see how it turns out. I will miss my carpet that's in there because it is really pretty but tile is much better for a bathroom. I took before pictures and I'll post the before and after pictures when it is all done.

This is why I don't want to replace the tub and counter tile. I really like this tile!

Isn't it pretty? Do you think the tile I picked will look good with this?

This is the tile I picked

The tile on the left is a fake marble. I didn't like it for two reasons. It was not a good color and it was slicker than snot even with dry bare feet! The tile on the right is the real marble. Nice huh? Not a good choice for us though. Also, Phil and Jen said Home Depot doesn't pay attention to the lot number so you can get cases from dark to light and they don't match. It didn't matter though because I had already chosen not to go with the marble.

Broken whirlpool tubs are a good storage place for guitars and a wonderful breeding ground for dust bunnies!